THANKS
I cannot believe I am releasing a whole album! If you’d told me five years ago that this would be something I’d be doing, I’d have laughed and laughed. Now here I am with my own little fan base that loves what I do, and I never in a million years thought that would be a thing. Here's to always surprising yourself and leaving your heart open for lighting to strike! I am so excited to release this little piece of my soul to the world.
This album is what my heart sounds like in soundwaves, walking through the sun and the shadows of love, and showing my unyielding belief that love is something worth waiting patiently for. It's part of my determination to live my life big, to do the things that light me up and bring me joy, and to love (and live) so big that when the end of the road is here, I can say I had not one regret, and the people I loved will have known how much I adored them. I write to express how I feel and thank God I have music to help with that because usually, my love is bigger than words can express.
So, with that, I want to say thank you to the people who deserve it because none of this has been accomplished alone. Those I mention here are the ones that have supported me, loved me, and made my life a better place to be. I love every single one of you in your infinitely brilliant, spectacular forms, so much more than you know.
To Daddy. This album is dedicated to you, and this time your song will be on here! I played that song for you day in and day out, for the last three months of your life. For whatever reason that melody made you happy, and I will never forget how excited you were when I figured out how to play Amazing Grace by ear sitting in that weird brown hospital chair. I am so glad that I was able to bring you comfort and make you smile in those final hours.
Thank you for being my best friend and one of the biggest driving forces in the woman I became. You taught me to be fiercely independent, to let shit go, and to always find the humor, even in the hard stuff. You gave me your brains, your goofiness, your dorkiness, and your great big giant heart. I can change a tire, hang with the guys in a garage, fix a garbage disposal, cook a hell of a meal, curse like a sailor, drink like an Irishman (but still act like a lady), quote endless bad movies, kick some serious Trivial Pursuit ass, and give one hell of a bear hug...all because of you.
Daddy, you were always my biggest fan. You ARE the very reason I play. Period. I came to you wanting a guitar and you drove to the store and got me one when I knew we couldn’t afford it. It was you who stood outside my bedroom door pretending you weren’t there, just listening to me play. I hummed “Wouldn’t It Be Loverly” when you were taking your last breaths, and you squeezed my hand to let me know you’d always be there when I sang (and I absolutely know you are all around me, all the time).
Thank you for always encouraging me and believing in me more than I ever believed in myself. Even now, as an adult, when I’m not feeling particularly confident, I remind myself of the times when you’d tell me how special and one of a kind I was. If you could believe in me with such fierce abandon, I can too. I love you, Daddy. I hope you hear the music, and I hope wherever you are, when you look down, I make you proud.
To Lee (Captured Image Photography). My sister, my absolute hands down best friend. My ride or die, life is exploding but fuck it we have each other, one true constant in this life. You still hold the title of person I have laughed with more than anyone else. My deep dark secret knower, my adventure buddy, and my always down for some Guiness, somehow always say the same thing I do in the same damn TONE, midnight city street wandering bestie.
We’ve been shit faced in frozen bars wearing husky hats (You Eskiho!), stumbled through Vegas like fools (we’re basically professionals at this point), laughed our asses off in New York Irish bars (the teeeny tiiiny little shot glass!), hiked the Grand Canyon, and drank questionable cocktails overlooking the Hudson. We added a new badass tattoo, and we went on some more crazy adventures. You are my Ellis Island exploring cohort, inappropriately dressed at fancy restaurants compadre, Manhattan Uber chasing, St. Christopher’s prayer partner, and where the HELL would I be without you?
YOU are my family and while things in our lives have not always been perfect, we have always had each other’s backs. You are my rock (and photographer, child rearing teammate, dog sitter, uncomfortable dinner reprieve, best aunt my kids could hope for, and, like, a million other things). You're my support, my encouragement, and my comedic relief. I would not be who I am or where I am without you.
You came back for me, picked me up out of those ashes and made sure I remembered who the fuck I was and what I was made of. Thank you for always showing up. Even when it was hard, even when you were tired, and when no one else did. Really, thank you for being the person you are and loving my dumb ass as much as you do. I love you, sister. More than I could ever really show you.
To Zoey. My God I AM SO PROUD of you!!! Look at you, a full-fledged adult out there in the wild, kicking ass and taking names. You are my stunningly beautiful, smart, hardworking, BRAVE, badass, take not one ounce of shit, daughter. I have never, in my entire life, met anyone who had half the heart you do kid. You give everything your all, and even when you're scared to death, you do it anyway, and I love you for it. Our relationship is such a special one, and I am so grateful that you are not only my daughter, but you’ve grown to be my friend.
There isn’t a moment of my life when I am not fantastically proud of you, all you do, and all you have overcome. It has been the biggest joy of my life to watch you grow into the young woman you have become. You are, as you used to say when you were little, “My favorite and my best” and I love you so much it’s ridiculous. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
To Tommy. My father’s namesake. My fellow ocean loving fishing buddy, I am constantly amazed by how FAST you learn and how unwaveringly talented and smart you are. You’re insanely gifted, funny (seriously dude, you make me LAUGH), witty, kind, gentle, creative, and loving. There is nothing you can’t figure out and I revel in watching you grow into a young man who will no doubt change the world around him.
I am so grateful that I get to be your mom. I'm so glad I get to be the one you show the games you make to, the one who gets to learn from you, and the one who gets to hear every teacher you have tell me how perfectly behaved and crazy smart you are. I am so proud of you Tom, and I love you alllllllll the way up to the moon…and back.
To Jeff (Blue Exit Audio). Okay, I don't even know what to say or how to say it (and that never happens!) Thank you feels entirely inadequate. You welcomed my awkward little self into your studio and made me feel at home and comfortable enough to not only make and record my music, but to want to keep coming back to do it more. You've never once laughed at me (except when I said capo wrong) and my astounding lack of professional music knowledge. Hell, you didn't even laugh (outwardly) when I almost killed myself on your front door rug (seriously, how did you not laugh?!).
You my dear, have grown to be one of my favorite people. Seriously. I know you’re just doing the job you’re supposed to do, but I love getting to hang out with you as much as I love making music with you. You're so damn funny, smart, patient, quick witted, sarcastic, just absolutely fucking cool as hell (you haven't missed one nerd reference yet), and a way better guitar player than I will ever be. You’re also kind of a bass playing badass. The employees at Panda Express are so proud!
Every time I am in your presence, I grow as a musician. I sit behind you and watch you wide eyed, just shaking my head because I am completely in awe of you and what you do so casually, like it's no big deal at all (...psshhh, don't mind Jeff. He's just busy being literally musically brilliant. No big deal!) That brilliance brought my songs to life in ways I couldn't have ever imagined, which I am forever in debt to you for. Seriously, what would Wild be without your guitar in the chorus? Or One Life without your slide? Those songs wouldn't be nearly as amazing without you in them (You know you have to be in the music videos, right? Well, you do now. I'll get you a top hat like Slash. It'll be dope).
Anyway, I digress. Thank you for lending me your fucking ridiculous talent, your incredible musical ear, your studio, and for always being excited to make music. Thank you for always being down to talk about nerdy shit, and for laughing with me about everything from loser Deadpool hating doctors to possible Disney copyright infringement. Honestly, I can’t ever say thank you enough. I owe you. Big time. I appreciate you, your friendship, and your talent so much more than I can ever tell you. That's why I will forever have your back and support you, your music, and your talent any way I can. Because everything is better when you (and your talent) are around.
To Erin. My not by blood, but absolutely by heart, baby sister. I am so proud of you!! You are a survivor like I am, and you waltz through life with your big heart on your sleeve, reminding all of us what it means to be a good person. You are the epitome of strength and when the chips were down, you showed up for me and Zoey like a God damned warrior, and I am forever grateful for it.
You may have knit the whole time we got our sisters tattoo like a weirdo (seriously the tattoo guy probably still talks about “vigorous knitting”), but you are MY weirdo and I thank the universe daily that I got you as a bonus sister. Thank you for being my always enthusiastic thrifting buddy, and for being the kind, supportive, loving, beautiful human you are. I just love you to absolute bits and I hope you know that.
To Mom. Man, what a journey we have had! Thank you for being one of my biggest fans. You were there next to me when my children came into this world, holding my hand so I wasn't alone, and you've been a guiding force in who I wanted to become. I love you more than words can ever really say. Look at that, you accomplished the impossible, you rendered Jenni speechless. Thank you for being the person you are, and for guiding me to become the absolute best I can be. Turns out, you were always right. I love you mom. Always, forever, and a day more.
To Mike. Yup, you’re still in here (yes you should be, shut up). I could say a million things here, but instead, I will just say that I am so absolutely happy that you are a part of my world. Thank you for your friendship and sense of humor in a place where we really need it. Thank you for always calmly listening to me bitch, and for walking me through the hard and frustrating things so damn patiently, as only you can. You’ve walked me away from a few ledges, and I owe you for it.
Thank you for listening to me ramble about my crazy life and the people and things that mean so much to me without complaint. Thank you for being so enthusiastic when I talk about my music and my crazy Jen shenanigans…it all means more than I can ever really tell you. You are one of the most intelligent, articulate, thoughtful people I have ever met. I am genuinely a better person for knowing you, and your impact on me is far greater than you will ever realize. It is a privilege to call you my friend, and to get to be a part of your life, no matter how small a part that might be.
AND. Ladies and gentlemen, last but not even a little least...
To Christopher (Real Music Radio). Thank you isn’t enough because you were the one who finally nudged me out of my little introverted cave. Thank you for being the definition of a friend and for always unapologetically pushing me to be better. You give me ideas, listen to me, and inspire me. You are a true music lover like I am, and I know I can trust that when you say it’s good, it’s good. You also give me a platform to share my art with the world, and I can never tell you how much I appreciate it, and you.
Thank you for always encouraging me, and for being my long-faithful sounding board. Thank you for more than 15 years of being there to listen, advise, and support. You showed up and made me realize that I'm more talented than I think I am, and I needed to stop being scared and just go make the damn music. You are nothing short of an amazing person who I genuinely admire, and I am so damn lucky to get to call you my friend.